(...name that musical!!)
I had a lovely winter solstice the other night with the perfect group: friends who value reflection, community, and the desire to grow and better themselves. As we celebrated this holiday that we’re still getting to know (how exciting!), building new traditions for ourselves and deciding what’s important, a lot of themes came up. But the one that resonated with me, and the one I struggle with the most, is patience.
“Patience is a virtue”...omg SHUT UP!!! I’ve never been a patient person. I HATE waiting. If there’s a line, I avoid it. If I can walk to a store and get something faster than waiting for shipping, I’ll do it. And if I know something I want is on the other end of a long wait, it takes everything in me not to lose my damn mind.
Right now, this impatience is front and center in my life. I’m in the beginning phases of a few massive transitions - leaving a job in a foreign country, navigating a series of unknowns, and trying to piece together something concrete for 2025 while attempting to keep my sh*t together today. I’m waiting to hear back from jobs all over the world, anxious and restless because I have no idea where life will take me. Don’t get me wrong, the uncertainty is strangely exciting…but still, I just want all the answers right now so I can start making plans and figuring out the logistics and not be in this excruciating waiting game that makes me feel like I’m going to explode. Is that too much to ask?!
It’s exhausting. I’ve become the restless kid throwing tantrums because she feels helpless. But here’s the reality: I don’t have the answers yet, and I can’t force them to come faster. So, rather than throwing the tantrum, I’m trying to embrace the waiting - or at least exist in the unknown without letting it consume me.
Because the truth is, we can’t have all the answers at our fingertips, even if technology has tricked us into believing we should. And even if we could, it wouldn’t help. It would just make us more impatient the next time.
The Winter Solstice and the Agony of Waiting
Now, let’s bring it back to the winter solstice. It’s the shortest day of the year, and while we’re moving toward more light, this stretch of time leading up to spring can feel agonizingly slow. It’s colder, the leaves have fallen, and seasonal depression is a real thing (hello, SAD - my old friend). For many of us, these months feel endless. We want to fast-forward to the warmth and light, skipping over the discomfort.
But what if we didn’t? What if, instead of wishing the season away, we used this time to strengthen our patience muscles and find meaning in the waiting? The solstice reminds us that darkness isn’t just an absence of light; it’s a pause, a space for rest and renewal. What if the pause is where the magic happens? And what if that allows us to find something even more meaningful along the way?
My Toolbox for Cultivating Patience
Let me be clear: I don’t have all the answers. I’m just a lady (possibly the most impatient lady I know) trying to figure it out. But as someone who has wrestled with impatience for years, I’ve noticed a few things that help me when I’m stuck in that anxious state of anticipation:
1. Be Here, Right Now
The thing I’m impatient for is always in the future. But here’s the thing: the future isn’t guaranteed! The thing we’re waiting for might never even happen! And in the meantime, we waste so much precious time worrying about it. It’s important to bring ourselves back to reality, and what we know is true - and that’s the present. We have nothing else but that. Everything else is just ideas. Instead of fixating on the future, it’s much kinder to yourself to find joy in the present. What am I noticing? What’s beautiful, interesting, or comforting about this exact moment? Nature really helps with this. Trees aren’t anxious about what’s going to happen next month. They’re just doing what they have to do now.
2. Redirect Your Attention
When I’m feeling impatient, I try to focus on what’s immediately in front of me. These are simple, tangible things: reading a book, going for a walk, listening to a podcast, cleaning my apartment, doing yoga, learning something new, or calling a friend. I don’t put television in this, because I think television actually makes us more impatient. Doing something physical definitely helps - to get yourself back into your body and let it do something other than think. By shifting my attention to something I can control, I’m utilizing that energy in a much more proactive, positive way. Plus, there’s so many other things I can do to spend my time rather than waiting for something (that again, might not even happen). I distract myself from the endless loop of “when will it happen?”
3. Reflect on Your Impatience
I recently had a conversation with a friend about how impatience is selfish to the present. How dare our fragile little egos think that something else is more important than right now? Especially something that isn’t even promised. If we’re always agonizing over the next thing, we’ll never be satisfied because our brains will just find the next thing to be impatient about. What a silly waste of time!
4. Reframe the Waiting
Waiting isn’t wasted time; it’s preparation. When finding yourself impatient, it's helpful to think, "I'm just marinating!" Yeah, you could rush the process, but the longer you soak, the richer you’ll be in flavor. What can you do in this in-between space to make yourself ready for what could come? Use the time to rest, recharge, set intentions, learn, and find ways to grow in the meantime. And that might make the thing you’re waiting for even more scrumptious - a divine, five-star meal instead of cold Wendy’s French Fries (babe, you are SO much better than cold Wendy’s French Fries).
Embracing the Pause
Yeah, yeah, yeah...all of this is easier said than done. But remember: it's all a process! It takes practice. And now is a good time to remind yourself that all the best things in life require some effort.
The winter solstice teaches us that even the darkest, coldest times are part of the cycle. This season of waiting is a reminder to slow down, reflect, and trust that the light is coming, even if it feels far away. And that’s okay! The reality is that it IS far away right now. And that’s exactly where it’s supposed to be…right now.
Isn’t it crazy how much mental energy we spend on something that doesn’t even exist yet?? As I navigate my own season of waiting, I’m trying to remember that patience is a practice, not a destination. It’s something we get better at little by little, with each breath and each moment we choose to be present. So, the next time I feel like hitting fast forward, I’ll take a breath, remind myself of the lessons from last night’s solstice, and maybe even laugh at the absurdity of it all.
The light will come. It always does. But there’s beauty in the waiting, too - a kind of magic in the pause. If we can embrace that, maybe we’ll find that the waiting isn’t just something to endure, but something to savor.
Yarrrrrr!
Comentarios